To love yourself, to really and truly love yourself, is to put yourself at the front and centre of your own life.  Not behind or under the needs, wants and desires of others.  No, not even the closest and most important people to you. They will be okay if you take more space for yourself.  They will be okay if you say no to what you can’t do.  They will be okay if you put yourself first.  

They might not like it at first, they might become angry, disgruntled and irritated with you.  But they will adjust and adapt.  In fact, this may even create space and opportunity for them to step more fully into their own self – love.  And you know what, it doesn’t even really matter whether they do or they don’t.  Because it is their choice.  That is not your concern.

What you should be concerned about is YOU!  What matters is YOU! Your relationship with yourself.  The most important relationship you will ever have.  The relationship that is the foundation of every other relationship you will ever have.  Yes – you heard me. Every relationship begins with the relationship you have with yourself.  How you feel about yourself.  What you think about yourself and how you behave towards yourself.  Every other relationship is a reflection or a mirror of this primary, quintessential relationship.  So, if things are not working in any of your relationships – work or personal, this is a clue that it is time to look towards your relationship with yourself and do some inner work.

To love yourself fully and completely is to accept each and every part and particle of yourself, every atom, molecule, hair, wrinkle, feature, flaw, failure and fault – without blame or criticism.  Accepting it all, rejecting nothing, denying nothing, avoiding nothing, omitting nothing. Because you know that it is all of your quirks, oddities and eccentricities that are the individual strands and strings that are woven together that create the shape, texture and unique form that is you, don’t you?

There is no other person on earth that is exactly like you, no two fingerprints or footprints that are the same. There may be doppelgangers or twins or other versions of you in other dimensions.  But you are one of a kind, living on this planet at this time and in this place, right here, right now.  There is only one you.  One beautiful, perfect as you are meant to be, interesting, fascinating and incredible you.

And when you really love yourself, you will want to get curious about this one self – your self. You will find yourself becoming excited about turning your attention inwards and going on a journey of discovery and exploring the territory that makes up your inner landscape and the essence of YOU.

You will become intrigued by the mysteries that lie deep within your own mind and body waiting to be solved, invited to step through the doors that want to be opened and walked through taking you into new worlds.  

When you truly love yourself, you will see and start treating your body as if it were a temple.  Would you put toxic garbage into the sacred vessel that is a church, synagogue or mosque? Would you fill it with rubbish, deface the walls, burn the pulpit or destroy the furniture.  Would you let the holy light that represents the essence of life and all life force, burnout or die? Would you allow vagrants and drunken trespassers to enter the gates of your sacred sanctuary letting them freely steal and loot, vandalize and cause havoc within your hallowed halls, without intervention, censure or consequence?

Or would you treat this holiest of holies with the highest and most elevated regard?  Would you have strict policies and guidelines for who may enter, when they may enter and how they should behave while they are there.  So why do you neglect and abuse your body?  Eating toxic foods that cause damage, decay and dis-ease?  Why do you overwork, neglect sleep hygiene and avoid exercise, movement and rest.  Why do you hang around people that use you, abuse you and drain the living life force out of you? And, if you are doing these things, can you really say you love yourself? 

When you truly love yourself, you climb a staircase to your higher self – you access your own soul.  You build a deeper connection to source energy. You walk through the gateway to heaven and meet your own divinity and you open up a portal to infinite possibility.  When you truly love yourself, this is the pathway that strengthens your connection to God.

• Can you sit still with yourself?
• Can you be comfortable in the silence?
• Are you happy in your own company?
• Do you distract yourself from yourself with food, sex, technology or work?
• Do you feel connected, grounded and focused?
• How strong and vital do you feel in your body?
• Do your relationships nurture and nourish you?
• Does your work satisfy, inspire and energize you?
• Do you accept yourself fully, unconditionally, flaws and all?
• Are you at peace?